Health: The Learning Never Ends

Once again I am on a journey of discovery with regards to my health. I thought, after undergoing the ZOE testing, that I had all of the information I needed. Not so it seems. Apparently when it comes to my health, the learning never ends. During the ZOE process, I learnt so much about which foods are best for my body and which I should eat more sparingly. It taught me the importance of looking after my gut health and that we are all unique. And I did feel better. But although I filled my diet with goodness, something still felt off. I couldn’t understand why there were still nights when the cravings overwhelmed me. When, before I knew it, I’d eaten three packets of crisps one after another.

Anti-feminist?

I’ve also been experimenting with fasting, something I’ve done on and off over the years. While fasting is associated with many health benefits, I’ve spoken honestly about the fact that this has never truly been my goal. Ultimately, I’m always striving for weight loss, and fasting for health reasons is one thing, but drastic deprivation to lose weight is something that I have never felt comfortable with.

When it comes to exercise, I’ve not followed a plan for a long while, instead relying on my body to tell me what it needs. My body, it turns out, needs a lot of gentle yoga and a stroll around the park. Perhaps then, I cannot trust my body to know what is best for it. Especially since it is getting soft and weak.

I’ve felt like I should be doing more, but I also felt conflicted. Part of me thinks that I should just accept my body the way it is; to stop fighting it. The other part of me wants to look and feel a certain way. And it feels vain, anti-feminist even, to admit that. Like I am conforming to the societal standards of how a woman should look. But also, shouldn’t it be OK if I want to feel comfortable in my clothes? Shouldn’t it be OK for me to want to look a certain way for nobody other than myself? Since the perimenopause hit, I lost myself and now I’m trying to figure out who I am on the other side of it.

Intuitive eating

The fact that my body doesn’t know what it wants makes sense. On her We Can Do Hard Things podcast recently, Glennon Doyle talked about her own recovery from an eating disorder. As part of her treatment, decision making around food was completely taken away from her. Working with a specialist, she was to follow a prescribed diet. The reason? After years of disordered eating, she could not longer trust her body to tell her what it needed. I too have ignored my body’s messages for so long that I can’t discern the truth.

Of course I want to get to a place where I am intuitive about what I eat and how I move, but at the moment, that doesn’t seem to be working out so well. I have a healthier relationship with food than before, but I think I still have a ways to go. I’m aware that I carry decades of conditioning within me and that this won’t disappear overnight. I also need to be honest that whatever I’ve been doing, isn’t quite right.

Trying something new

I was reluctant to follow a generic plan offering short term results that would be unsustainable in real life. My sister’s tried The Six Pack Revolution (SPR) in the past and I declined to join for precisely that reason. But when I saw it advertised recently, I decided to approach it with the view that it might teach me something new. Previously I would have balked at the idea of eating six times a day, it would have seemed completely counterintuitive to my needs, but I was curious. And like Glennon, it would take away the decision making around whether I should fast, if I’ve eaten too much, or whether what I’ve eaten is good or bad.

Just four weeks in, I feel motivated, energised and lighter. Although the meals are smaller, they are nutritionally balanced and so far, I’ve had none of my usual early evening cravings. It has made me wonder if my body has been starving all these years. If it’s saying: “Finally, she’s feeding me.”

We’re all unique

With ZOE I learned that every body is unique. That what works for someone else may not work for me. From SPR, I’ve learned that the same can also be said of our brains. I am someone who responds well to direction, to praise, to following a plan. Left to my own devices, the decision making can feel overwhelming, especially in recent years. Being told how to eat, what exercise to do and having accountability really suits my personality type. My sister on the other hand, rebels when she feels like she is being told what to do.

It has confirmed that I need routine in my life to ensure I do the things that make me feel good. A plan of action for the week ahead so that I don’t overthink it. It has also shown me that I need to remain open minded. That there is always going to be something to learn when it comes to my health. My body is constantly changing and so it makes sense that any routine may need to change alongside it. Although this plan is prescriptive, I’ve treated it as a re-set. A way to let go of some of the bad habits that I had acquired. Long-term my aim is to blend together elements of everything I have learned in a way that best suits my needs.