Ish is good enough

Like the Japanese concept of Ikigai or the Danish idea of Hygge, Ish sounds like something that should be steeped in ancient history. It’s not, Ish literally means somewhat or to some extent. It suggests a vagueness to a comment or a subject. Ish is the concept that I use when I introduce anything into my life or routine. Ish, to me, means good enough.

All or nothing

This hasn’t always been the case. In the past, if I did anything, I had to be all in. Usually to the point that I made it a part of my identity. For example, I could never just exercise a couple of times a week, I had to exercise every day whether it was good for me or not. Or when I got into yoga. It wasn’t enough for me to practise regularly like a normal person, I had to train to become a teacher.

The thing is, while I have a perfectionist mentality I also have the focus of a kid in a toy shop. This means that I fail, A LOT! And every time I fail at something I feel terrible about myself. I’ve tried so many different things that I have ultimately given up on, because, if I can’t commit fully, then what’s the point in doing it at all?

I read all this stuff about the habits of successful people. There’s usually a strict regime of 5am HIIT sessions and cold showers and journalling and mindfulness. It breeds failure for most of us because it’s practically impossible. I wonder if it is mostly single, wealthy men who do commit to these punishing daily routines? Most women I know are busy with kids and pets and work and life to have the time. And if, somehow, we could commit to a schedule like this alongside everything else we do, I can only imagine that it would make us ill.

Ish is good enough

I first heard ish used on the Wellness with Ella, Deliciously Ella podcast. It was an Oprah Aha moment. I knew right away that this was how I was meant to live my life. For me, it means that while I know that certain habits make me feel good, I can be intuitive about how I implement them. Now, I do have a daily ish routine, but, it is moveable depending on any number of things, including how I feel, how I slept and my day ahead. So, I exercise most days, ish. I mediate twice a day ish. I eat a healthy ish diet.

And it can work for other things. I’m plant based, I eat a vegan ish diet. Initially I was very dogmatic about this, there was no ish, but now I am much more relaxed. I do my best to avoid animal products and meat is a hard no, but travel and the language barrier can make knowing what I am eating difficult. Can I swear that the pasta sauce I had in Italy didn’t have cream in it? No. Did I realise at the end of my 3-week holiday (after lots of vegan pancakes) that Australians don’t count eggs as animal products? Yes. But, did I do my best? Also yes.

Let’s cut us some slack

Ish reminds me of the theory of the good enough mother, coined by psychoanalyst W.D. Winnicott. Something I learnt about when I was studying to be a counsellor, it has given me great comfort on the many occasions I have felt like I was failing as a mother. Winnicott found that meeting your child’s needs just 30% of the time is sufficient to create a happy, well attached child. And that doing so boosts their resilience.

30% – I can do that.

I guess my point is, we don’t have to do anything 100% of the time to be happy, healthy and successful. Ish or good enough will get you there, and more importantly, will do so without all of the angst. We put enough pressure on ourselves to do it all. Let’s cut us some slack and be more ish.